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jokes

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 977
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
562
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No debt.
Perfect weight.
8 hours of sleep.
Great Mental Health.
Healthy food.
No alcohol.
That was my peak!
I was 8 years old.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 15762
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
10167
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What is a web developer’s favourite tea?

URL Grey.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Anna Hutchins
Posts: 41
Location: Central Kansas. Zone: 6b
16
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I went shopping for cherries and a microphone stand today.

Bought a bing. Bought a boom.
 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8701
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3577
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My wife bought a used Bow Flex. With the help of a ramp I managed to unload it from the truck.  I would need human help to get it inside. So I took a break until my helper arrived. Of course, when he did, the BowFlex was covered with chickens. They were working on their pecks.

You can only be young once … but you can be immature forever!

 
Mark Reed
pollinator
Posts: 794
Location: SE Indiana
466
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Not really a joke, the last post about the bow-flex just made me think of it.
When my mom sent us out to get a chicken for supper, she didn't mean go the store.
Hey you in the red feathers, I saw you shit on my bicycle seat this morning.  You won't be doing that again.

Nothing ruins a neighborhood like paved roads and water lines.

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 16235
Location: SW Missouri
12611
2
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The meteorologist who developed the Heat Index passed away yesterday.

He was 88, but felt like 95.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 16235
Location: SW Missouri
12611
2
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On the day my son turned four, I told him I didn't recognize him.  it was like I'd never seen him be four.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 15762
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
10167
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The tea and coffee are married, but the tea leaves. Does that give the coffee grounds for divorce?

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 16235
Location: SW Missouri
12611
2
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Thoughts that keep me awake at night....
How long does it take a giraffe to throw up?

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 16235
Location: SW Missouri
12611
2
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goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
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A pizza is basically a real-time pie chart of how much pizza is left.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 16235
Location: SW Missouri
12611
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 3 days ago
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Why don't we pronounce the "meow" in homeowner?

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 15762
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
10167
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
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What kind of lizard tells jokes?

A stand up chameleon.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 977
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
562
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Did you hear about the new rule in Hawaii?
Your not aloud to laugh loud anymore.
You have to keep it at aloha.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 3244
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
1781
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The USDA announced today that they are planning to outlaw round bales of hay, citing concern that cows are not getting a square meal every day.

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
Visit https://themaineingredient.com for organic, premium dried culinary herbs that are grown, processed, and packaged in the USA.

 
Yeah. What he said. Totally. Wait. What? Sorry, I was looking at this tiny ad:
It's a bit like "run away to the circus" but with gardening
https://wheaton-labs.com/bootcamp
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