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jokes

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8420
Location: southern Illinois, USA
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In the past decade over 110 people have died in gyms.   In that same period of time, only one person has died eating donuts. Stats don’t lie.

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8420
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3333
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On the subject of fitness,  the average person used 14 muscles to pour a cup of coffee.  Fitness is my passion.

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

 
Jay Angler
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Why was the storm so good at romance?

It always knew how to make sparks fly.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
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What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

A pie-rat.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
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John F Dean
master steward
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I spent 10 minutes this morning trying to straighten out the wrinkles in my socks.  Then I realized I wasn’t wearing any.

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
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What's worse than a box full of snakes???

A box that was supposed to be full of snakes!!

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Jay Angler
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Be patient with geologists - they all have their faults.

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Jay Angler
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My rock collection has so much sedimental valure.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
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Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 3162
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
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Instructions for how to fall down the stairs:

Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 11
Step 18 and 19

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
Visit https://themaineingredient.com for organic, premium dried culinary herbs that are grown, processed, and packaged in the USA.

 
Blaine Clark
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Location: West-central Pennsylvania
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I woke up in the middle of the night and saw two white eyes at the foot of my bed.  I'm so sorry I keep a baseball bat by the bed.  It was moonlight on my big toenails.  I guess I should be glad my pistol was farther away.

Try Linux on your computer, free, no virus worries, stable and maintenance free. Distributions I recommend are Linux-Mint and Debian. Better than throwing your PC away when Windows rejects you.

 
Blaine Clark
Posts: 86
Location: West-central Pennsylvania
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I'm all into fitness ... fitness whole pizza into my mouth.
BTW - tried a chicken/bacon/ranch pizza - WOW! And my wife makes the best Reuben pizza!

Try Linux on your computer, free, no virus worries, stable and maintenance free. Distributions I recommend are Linux-Mint and Debian. Better than throwing your PC away when Windows rejects you.

 
John F Dean
master steward
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I once went to one of those “Live Your Dream” seminars.  The next day I was fired from my job for showing up in my underwear.

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

 
Jay Angler
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The miner got sick of his job because it was just boring.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
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John F Dean
master steward
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I opened a new account today on the net.  When it asked for a password, I typed in “penis”.  It responded “too short”.

I learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice.

 
Jay Angler
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How does the Easter Bunny travel?    By hare-plane.


Why was the Easter Bunny bad at arguing?     He always jumps to conclusions.


What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?    “It’s been nice gnawing you.”



Happy Easter everyone!

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Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 15998
Location: SW Missouri
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Just before sweet potatoes are mashed they become very quiet.

This is known as "the silence of the yams."

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
I agree. Here's the link: http://stoves2.com
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