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jokes

 
master steward
Posts: 8420
Location: southern Illinois, USA
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In the past decade over 110 people have died in gyms.   In that same period of time, only one person has died eating donuts. Stats don’t lie.
 
John F Dean
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On the subject of fitness,  the average person used 14 muscles to pour a cup of coffee.  Fitness is my passion.
 
master steward
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Location: Pacific Wet Coast
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Why was the storm so good at romance?

It always knew how to make sparks fly.
 
Jay Angler
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What do you call a rodent that steals your dessert?

A pie-rat.
 
John F Dean
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I spent 10 minutes this morning trying to straighten out the wrinkles in my socks.  Then I realized I wasn’t wearing any.
 
pollinator
Posts: 953
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
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What's worse than a box full of snakes???

A box that was supposed to be full of snakes!!
 
Jay Angler
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Be patient with geologists - they all have their faults.
 
Jay Angler
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My rock collection has so much sedimental valure.
 
gardener
Posts: 3162
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
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Instructions for how to fall down the stairs:

Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 11
Step 18 and 19
 
Posts: 86
Location: West-central Pennsylvania
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I woke up in the middle of the night and saw two white eyes at the foot of my bed.  I'm so sorry I keep a baseball bat by the bed.  It was moonlight on my big toenails.  I guess I should be glad my pistol was farther away.
 
Blaine Clark
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Location: West-central Pennsylvania
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I'm all into fitness ... fitness whole pizza into my mouth.
BTW - tried a chicken/bacon/ranch pizza - WOW! And my wife makes the best Reuben pizza!
 
John F Dean
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I once went to one of those “Live Your Dream” seminars.  The next day I was fired from my job for showing up in my underwear.
 
Jay Angler
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The miner got sick of his job because it was just boring.
 
John F Dean
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I opened a new account today on the net.  When it asked for a password, I typed in “penis”.  It responded “too short”.
 
Jay Angler
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How does the Easter Bunny travel?    By hare-plane.


Why was the Easter Bunny bad at arguing?     He always jumps to conclusions.


What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?    “It’s been nice gnawing you.”



Happy Easter everyone!
 
steward & bricolagier
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Location: SW Missouri
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Just before sweet potatoes are mashed they become very quiet.

This is known as "the silence of the yams."
 
I agree. Here's the link: http://stoves2.com
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