Search...
Home Subscribe
Pie
Home Subscribe
Recent topics Flagged topics Hot topics Best topics
Search...
Search within meaningless drivel Search permies
Advance search Google search
Register / Login
rocket mass heater dvd
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
Free heat movie apropedia logo garden rocket mass heater manual FREE! homesteading and permaculture singles Permies Book Reviews
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Devaka Cooray
  • Carla Burke
  • John F Dean
  • Nancy Reading
  • Timothy Norton
  • r ranson
stewards:
  • Jay Angler
  • Pearl Sutton
  • paul wheaton
master gardeners:
  • Christopher Weeks
  • M Ljin
gardeners:
  • thomas rubino
  • Eino Kenttä
  • Jeremy VanGelder

jokes

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
It’s that time of year again ...  I am referring to fireworks and the accidents that come with them.   Please do not allow young children to use fireworks.   That should be the job for the adults who have been drinking all day.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you hear about the recent earthquake research?
The information is groundbreaking

Did you hear about the tornado at the cheese factory?
Da-brie was everywhere.

A family suffering loss and injury in a tornado sent their small son to his aunts home for a visit, until they could arrange for other housing.
After three days came this telegram: RETURNING TOM. SEND TORNADO.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A reporter is interviewing a Florida victim of Hurricane Michael. In the background, a scene of complete devastation; the roof is gone, half of the walls are down, personal possessions scattered around. The person looks shell-shocked, with an unfocused gaze. The hair is wild, clothes disheveled, dirt smudges on the face and arms.

"So what are you going to do now?" asks the reporter. "Are you going to rebuild?"

"No," replies the victim. "I'm gonna move to Georgia."

"Georgia? Why Georgia?"

"That's where the rest of my stuff is."

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Signs of aging:  When you clean house to the music you used to drink to.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
We all know that stats lie.  For example, I will grant that alcohol kills people , but how many people have been born because of it?

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

They relish the moment!

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What’s the difference between a pickle and a therapist?

If you don’t know, you should stop talking to your pickle!

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?

Road dill.

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I’d had enough…

“Why don’t you pickle someone your own size?” I shouted.

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons?

You dill with it.

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3529
Location: Maine, zone 5
2129
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large that he was able to turn it into a house. One day a bad storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his actual home…

Now he’s in a real pickle.

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

Staff note (Greg Martin) :

Dear God, there are a lot of pickle jokes out there....
but as a staff member I am forced to stop myself from posting more.
(but I won't stop anyone else)

Staff note (Jay Angler) :

How can I resist an invitation like that?

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What does it take for a cucumber to become a pickle?


A jarring experience.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
For mature audience only...

What do you call a pickled deer

A dill doe

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What's a pickle's favorite game show?


Let's Make A Dill

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it. Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle. When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed. Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.

I just never saw what the big dill was.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have a real problem with authority. No one does what I tell them.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Lettuce Romain Calm !!

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Amazingly, my great aunt tried to warn everyone the Titanic would sink.  She told the employees, the management, and even everyone as they bought tickets.  No one paid any attention to her.  Finally, they kicked her out of the movie theater.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Monsters don't like to eat ghosts............

Because they taste like sheet.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I live near a very small community, but we do have a library.  I spent some time in it looking for a book on the Jurassic period.  I found nothing.  I went to the librarian for her recommendation for a book, author, anything.... She told me to try Sarah Topps.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My wife and I have been together for 47 years.  And just think, for 47 years I have been in love with the same woman.   I can’t believe my wife has never found out.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My cousin was a playwright , he was always making a scene.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I posted elsewhere that I was having pain in my shoulder.  When my knee began to become sore, I made an appointment with my physician.  After much poking and prodding he sat down and quietly stared at his computer screen.  After an eternity of silence I broke down and asked him, “ How do I stand.”  He quietly muttered back “That is what I am trying to figure out.”

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
The other night I was at a bar and a man there was hopelessly drunk.  I offered him a ride home, and he took me up on it.  He fell several times on the way to my car.  When we reached his home, he fell getting out of the car.  He fell a few more times walking up to his house.  When his wife answered the door, she asked, “Where is his wheel chair?”

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you hear about the arborist who was wrongly accused of stealing a tree?


Someone planted the evidence on his property.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Why is it so difficult to run a tree care company?


Because every employee acts like a branch manager.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
steward
Posts: 14423
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8694
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbit walk into a bar.
The bartender asks the Rabbit what he would like.
The Rabbit replies, "I don't know - I'm only here because of auto-correct."

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I just read where a man was arrested for stealing several inflatable dolls.  Fortunately, the police had no problem catching him.  He was completely out of breath.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Anne Miller
steward
Posts: 18175
Location: USDA Zone 8a
4626
I like...
dog hunting food preservation cooking bee greening the desert
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Invasive plants are Earth's way of insisting we notice her medicines. Stephen Herrod Buhner
Everyone learns what works by learning what doesn't work. Stephen Herrod Buhner

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My tiny community is trying to pass some silly ordinance prohibiting males from wearing their pants too low.  Fortunately, it is meeting a good deal of opposition from the plumbers union.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
Thomas Copley
Posts: 5
Location: Kingsport, TN
5
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.
You probably never heard of herbivore.
 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8002
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3001
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My daughter told me she was tired of babysitting my grandkids.

If there is one thing the Wizard of Oz has taught me, it is not to trust school teachers on bicycles.

 
J.B. Wells
pollinator
Posts: 153
Location: Oregon zone 8b
54
I like...
kids forest garden books cooking fiber arts homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you know you can wear a canoe as a hat?

When it is tipped over it is cap-sized.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
See Hes
pollinator
Posts: 544
Location: Ban Mak Ya Thailand Zone 11-12
218
I like...
forest garden fish plumbing chicken pig
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A common English joke about us Germans, so old but still asked many times.

How many Germans you need to change a light bulb?

my response:

Only ONE, we Germans are efficient and have no sense of humor.

In modern times the only right way forward is to come back to nature.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What did the big flower say to the little flower?

What’s up, bud?!

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Why do plants use photosynthesis?
So they can have a light snack

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 921
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
526
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that makes you cry has never been hit in the face with a turnip.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
J.B. Wells
pollinator
Posts: 153
Location: Oregon zone 8b
54
I like...
kids forest garden books cooking fiber arts homestead
posted 4 years ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak.
 
You would be much easier to understand if you took that bucket off of your head. And that goes for the tiny ad too!
Rocket Mass Heater Resources Wiki
https://permies.com/w/rmh-resources
reply
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!
Similar Threads
More...