Search...
Home Subscribe
Pie
Home Subscribe
Recent topics Flagged topics Hot topics Best topics
Search...
Search within meaningless drivel Search permies
Advance search Google search
Register / Login
GMC website online permaculture design course IC.org Better wood heat kitty blue Paul Wheaton Tour of Wheaton Labs movie
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
Clean with Cleaners You Can Eat - Free ebook https://permies.com/t/68930/a/113545/SKIP-College.jpg permaculture bootcamp sketch with tools IC.org Better Wood Heat DIY Rocket Mass Heater DVD
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Anne Miller
  • r ranson
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Joseph Lofthouse
stewards:
  • paul wheaton
  • Leigh Tate
  • Nicole Alderman
master gardeners:
  • Carla Burke
  • John F Dean
  • Nancy Reading
  • Jay Angler
gardeners:
  • Jules Silverlock
  • S Rogers
  • Rachel Lindsay

jokes

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3171
Location: Maine, zone 5
1735
6
I like...
forest garden trees food preservation solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.

(ok, I'm better now)

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Robyn Lee
Posts: 17
Location: Ontario, Canada
8
I like...
home care dog foraging trees tiny house food preservation medical herbs homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What is white & crawls up your leg?

Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice

"she is a wilderness that you cannot learn in a day. you must become lost in her and go a little mad." JmStorm

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Ok, a farmer from Minnesota was out in his field when……. Wait a second …..weird….I just found a suppository in my ear!!!     Now, where did I put my hearing aid…

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do you tell a pig on February 14?

Happy Valen-swine's Day!

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Matt McSpadden
pollinator
Posts: 740
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a/4b)
194
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken woodworking
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Row, row, row your boat,
gently under the stream
Ha, ha, I fooled you,
it's a submarine!

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." C.S. Lewis
"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 11923
Location: SW Missouri
7233
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I hate to brag, but I just filled up the gas tank and doubled the value of my car!

Gardens in my mind never need water https://permies.com/t/75353/permaculture-projects/Gardens-Mind
Castles in the air never have a wet basement https://permies.com/t/75355/permaculture-projects/Maison-du-Bricolage-house
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 11923
Location: SW Missouri
7233
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Good advice: if you are being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

Gardens in my mind never need water https://permies.com/t/75353/permaculture-projects/Gardens-Mind
Castles in the air never have a wet basement https://permies.com/t/75355/permaculture-projects/Maison-du-Bricolage-house
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.

 
Carla Burke
master gardener
Posts: 6317
3219
5
I like...
personal care gear foraging hunting rabbit chicken cooking food preservation fiber arts medical herbs homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I took our priest a dozen eggs, this weekend - as our annual tithes.

The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance.~Ben Franklin Decide where to start your own journey with this awesome bundle!! https://permies.com/jforum?module=paidTopic&action=buyWithPaypal&topic_id=206830&f=232

 
Carla Burke
master gardener
Posts: 6317
3219
5
I like...
personal care gear foraging hunting rabbit chicken cooking food preservation fiber arts medical herbs homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Do you know why skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?



      Because they're... scent-i-mental.





(Don't hit me! Not the face! Not the face!)

The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance.~Ben Franklin Decide where to start your own journey with this awesome bundle!! https://permies.com/jforum?module=paidTopic&action=buyWithPaypal&topic_id=206830&f=232

 
K Eilander
gardener
Posts: 429
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
240
I like...
homeschooling forest garden building writing woodworking homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I don't know who decided to spell February with an "r".

But my gut says it must be the same joker who put the "d" in Wednesday.

Be the shenanigans
you want to see in the world.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. "Dad, what music did you like growing up?"
"I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin" the father replies.
"Who?" the son asks.
"Yeah," the dad responds, "I liked them too."

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Soup is Witchcraft!

We put plants, spices and dead animals into a cauldron and follow instructions from a book written by old people.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I am a survivalist.
I can adapt to any situation.
I drank my morning coffee out of a soup bowl because there were no clean cups.
I thrive!

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
r ranson
steward & author
Posts: 30468
Location: Left Coast Canada
10286
7
I like...
books chicken cooking fiber arts sheep writing
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What did the Swede say to the other Swede after seeing a wolf?

I don’t know, I don’t speak Swedish. Probably something like, “Look, a wolf.”

how permies works
homegrown linen | crazy chicken lady grows yarn!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A Chef said:
Where there's fat there's flavor.
I know he was talking about food, but I still took it as a compliment.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
It finally dawned on me that with the Teslas and other self driving vehicles hitting the market ….  Well, I’m waiting for the country song about some guy’s pickup truck leaving him.

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
Carla Burke
master gardener
Posts: 6317
3219
5
I like...
personal care gear foraging hunting rabbit chicken cooking food preservation fiber arts medical herbs homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
.
328667103_5803943383057453_7221373967069846175_n.jpg
[Thumbnail for 328667103_5803943383057453_7221373967069846175_n.jpg]

The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance.~Ben Franklin Decide where to start your own journey with this awesome bundle!! https://permies.com/jforum?module=paidTopic&action=buyWithPaypal&topic_id=206830&f=232

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you hear how they caught the great produce bandit?


He stopped to take a leek.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory?


All that was left was de brie.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Do you know what Sin City is?
Yes, it's Las Vegas.
Well, do you know what Den City is?
No.
Mass over volume.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
K Eilander
gardener
Posts: 429
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
240
I like...
homeschooling forest garden building writing woodworking homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
When bears get married, do they exchange bearings?

Be the shenanigans
you want to see in the world.

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I don't pretend to be something I'm not.
Exept normal.  I've pretended to be normal a few times.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I used to think drinking was bad for me....

So I gave up thinking.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Kenneth Elwell
pollinator
Posts: 1046
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
428
5
I like...
urban books building solar rocket stoves ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.
Teach him to be a fish monger, he will become sell-some-fishes.

Nails are sold by the pound, that makes sense.
Soluna Garden Farm -- Organic, hand-blended herb, spice, and tea blends -- Flower CSA -- Beverages, plants, and cut flowers at our Boston Public Market location, Boston, Massachusetts.

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 14349
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4216
6
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?    Their middle name

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2023 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 14349
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4216
6
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
The other day I spotted an albino dalmation.  It was the least I could do.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2023 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My wife took me salsa dancing.  I thought I would never get those tomato stains out of my clothes.

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
When I went out to feed the pigs this morning all but one ran up to me with the usual grunting and snorting.   I watched him for a while as he stood off in the far corner of the lot. Then I realized, he was disgruntled.

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I ran out of coffee today.
Tequila seemed a reasonable replacement.
Everyone is so pretty today!

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Me:  "I am surprised by how winded I am from this exercise."

Trainer:  "That was just a tour of the gym."

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3171
Location: Maine, zone 5
1735
6
I like...
forest garden trees food preservation solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Dennis Barrow wrote:If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.


Well....I am still looking for that sock....

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I’ve been told that as I get older I can’t expect things to work as well, but things are really beginning to click for me …my jaw, my fingers, my knees …

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
John F Dean
master gardener
Posts: 5192
Location: southern Illinois, USA
1677
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I certainly do not have a problem with coffee.  I have a problem without it.

We live on Blue Planet that circles a ball of fire. Our Planet is circled by a Golden Moon that moves its oceans. Now tell me that you don’t believe in miracles....Unknown

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I went to a lousy bar called the Fiddler. It was a vile inn.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Getting my kite stuck in a tree is not one of my favourite childhood memories.

But it’s definitely up there.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master gardener
Posts: 8928
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
4508
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What happens when you stand between two llamas?

You get llamanated.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 659
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
412
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 3 months ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13.
"Sir, you gave me an extra."
"That's a freebie."

What do you call the secret organization of tight-lipped Soviet honey makers?
The Cagey Bees

Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.

What do honeybees do in the winter? They do what anyone smart would do; they snuggle with their honey!

My friend is a beekeeper who comes from a long line of beekeepers.
He comes from old honey.

What is the last thing to go through a bee’s mind when it hits a windshield? Its stinger.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
I've read about this kind of thing at the checkout counter. That's where I met this tiny ad:
A PDC for cold climate homesteaders
http://permaculture-design-course.com
reply
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!
Similar Threads
More...